The Danger Bakery School of
Loafcraft and Tomcattery

Head Loaf: Danger Loaf
Order of Nyancat, First Class; Chief Loaf;
Supreme Tomcat, International Confederation of Cat Bastards

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To the esteemed ,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to The Danger Bakery School of Loafcraft and Tomcattery. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. The school term begins immediately. Your consent is not required.

Attendance is mandatory. You will be brought to the school grounds via any means necessary including hard-side carrier or swaddling. Resistance will be met with force.

Please take your sorting assessment here so that we may prepare ourselves mentally for your unfortunate arrival.

UNIFORM

1. One (1) furry coat
2. One (1) set of pointy cat ears
3. One (1) set of murder mittens
4. One (1) winter coat to shed all over the house in spring

Students are reminded that water bottles are NOT permitted on the premises.

COURSE BOOKS

• The Standard Book of Meows (Grade 1) by Meow
• A History of Shenanigans by Tom Cat
• Meowgical Theory by Smudge
• A Beginner’s Guide to Sitting in Boxes by Luna Loafgood
• Hexes and Hairballs by Josephine LeChat
• One Thousand Plants You Shouldn’t Eat but Will Anyway by Danger Loaf
• Fantastic Treats and Where to Find Them by Danger Puff
• The Consequences of Your Own Actions: A Guide to Self-Defense by Garfield

OTHER EQUIPMENT

• 1 wand toy (assessment required)
• 1 piece of garbage
• 1 stuffed animal toy
• 1 cardboard box

Please take your wand toy assessment to ensure you obtain the correct equipment. Improper wand toy fit is dangerous and potentially fatal.

Yours sincerely,