Have you or a loved one been affected by Mesothelioma?
Get stuffed, loser, we only deal with cat stuff, and we don’t know what that is.
Now, Meowsotheliomeow? We know a thing about that. Just one thing, and that’s enough.
We are the largest Paw Firm in America, with a network of two cats and four kittens spread across one office in Meowmi, Florida.
We specialize in a purr-sonal injury cases, including but not limited to wand-toy injuries, delayed dinner, unjust swaddlings, falling off of high places when you would have made it if you hadn’t been distracted, and much more.
Has your human clipped your claws when you were in the middle of using them just because you drew blood or kept scratching the furniture? We’ll take them to court and tear them to finer shreds than the remains of their yoga mat.
Have you found yourself trapped in a wand toy just because you rolled around in it for the five minutes your human left you alone with it? We’ll strangle them with settlement fees.
Have you fallen off of a high place due to noncompliance with FAA (Feline Aviation Administration) regulations? We’ll swipe them off of the counter of financial solvency right into your waiting clutches.
Have you been exposed to excessive vacuum cleaner presence in your home? Hearing loss in a cat from a vacuum cleaner can translate to MEOWLLIONS OF DOLLARS (citation needed)! Call us and we’ll make them wish they’d never climbed into bed with Big Dyson.
Schedule an appointment today with one of our cat-torneys to discuss your case. Nothing is too big or too small. We’ll swat them all.
-Danger (Biscuit), Danger (Mochi), Danger (Nugget) & Danger (Toast), Cat-torneys at law