At PuffPost, we report with indifference to journalistic integrity and put cats at the heart of every story. We take a cat-first approach in everything we report—be it news and politics or lifestyle and entertainment—and we do our best to exaggerate every story wildly. Regardless of who you are, where you live or what you believe, you should absolutely not count on PuffPost. We will lead you horrendously astray. If something matters to us, we will report on it, regardless of its relevance to you.
Diary of a Noct-purr-nist
1900 Start the night by taking sign out from the Emeowgency medicine resident, who has seven admits for me that the day team asked him to sign out. He has not laid paw or whisker in their room and doesn’t know anything about them, not even their names or room numbers. I go to get […]
Renowned Self-Defense Specialist, Chuck Purris, to offer Defensive Loafing Classes in Meowmi Area
Few people in the modern world haven’t heard of the legendary Chuck Purris, whose unique style of self-defense has reached near-mythical status. Purris, the star of Loafer, Texas Ranger, is even credited with taking down Meowtler himself, despite not having been born until eighty years after the maligned dictator’s death. Luckily for Meowmi area citizens, […]
Daring Kitten Breaks Records for Oldest, Youngest, First and Last Puff to Ever Climb Meownt Coverest
Last year sometime (actually, maybe it was two years ago, but the details are not important here), a young Dangerous Puffington broke records that had just been sitting on the counter of history, waiting to be swiped to the floor. Puffington, at the incredibly young age of just six months (or something probably, we adopted […]
Twitpurr competitor, ‘Yarns,’ released; catfight between two meowllionaires ensues
The rivalry between Elong Tail and Mark Zuckerpurr is no secret, and things have only been heating up since the South Pawfrican Meowllionaire (which is like twenty million times a billionaire) took over Twitpurr, a leading social meowdia platform. Among scandals, poor spending and a careless paw swipe across the counter of layoffs, Twitpurr has […]
Jojo Bitin’: Tough on Claws, Soft and Fluffy on Crime?
“You want to declaw the entire nation and leave us defenseless, meanwhile the criminals who actually perpetrate the violent crimes will still find ways to sharpen their claws and go for our very soft and fluffy bellies while we nap.”
Happy Loafsgiving!
For us at the Danger Bakery, time means nothing and holidays are just another day closer to death. Nevertheless, we’d like to extend a warm-hearted holiday greeting for everyone who has just one thread of soul left inside them to enjoy things such as Loafsgiving–the holiday where you feed your cat whatever they want, no […]
A Call to Tradition
By Joséphine Good evening to all the loyal readers of the Puffington Post–I’m flattered by the invitation from the eponymous Sir Puffington himself. I’m here today to voice the thoughts that have been reverberating through the feline community. Concerns that have been raised time and time again, with insufficient response. What happened to LAPS? I […]
New Loafy Luxury Rewards Program Unveiled!
The Loafy Luxury Resort is pleased to offer our guests an exciting new loyalty rewards program: Boulangerie. All members enjoy, quite honestly, pretty limited travel possibilities, but they’re definitely super exclusive and cooler than whatever your lame friends are doing. The more you stay, the more you earn! For our feline members: Shitty Loaf (Just […]
Lee County loaf arrested, accused of trafficking primo shit
A 1-year-old 7’6″ Fort Myers tabby was arrested after Lee County deputies say they found [absolutely fucking] massive amounts of silvervine and catnip in his home. Dangerous “Puff” Loafington faces more than a dozen charges including five counts of silvervine trafficking 28 grams or more, four counts of catnip trafficking 28 grams or more and […]
The Lethal Dangers of Daylight Savings time
By: Dangerpuff, Head of Puffology at the International Institute of Loafology Dangerloaf, Exquisite Grand Master Head of Loafology at the International Institute of Loafology Abstract Every day, millions of noble house cats across the United States are subjected to abject torture and neglect due to feeding habits that conflict with natural diurnal cycles of digestion. […]
Enjoy your dream vacation at Loafy Luxury Resort
A family owned company, with the vision of promoting top of the line touristic accommodations throughout south Florida. Our world is your playground at the Loafy Luxury Resort. There is a wide range of very exotic places, such as the living room, loach lagoon, bedside bay, kitchen cove, pantry jungle, bathroom beach, and more! Bathroom […]
HOT SINGLE LOAVES IN YOUR AREA!
Hey 👋😀, babe 👶😭. Did you 👈🕛 know 🤔 that with Loafychan there’s ✔ a 100 💯% chance 🚫 you’ll get 🉐 skritched🍆💦? That’s ✔ right ✔, honey 🍯. There’s 👌 hot ☀🔥💥 singles ☝🏻 in your 🚮👉💅🏽 area ⚠💀, ready 😏👨 to snuggle👉👌. We’re waiting 🚏 for you 👈, Sean 😍 Gayton of [ZIP_CITY].
StealthCat Airlines to Add New Nonstop Services Via Fighter Puff
Stealthcat Airlines has announced yet another set of routes to be served with its newly acquired Fighter Puff 21 jet airplane (FP-21). Nonstop destinations include top of the cat tower, kitchen counter, and local ironing boards, with regional services to nearby fish tanks. On board services to include aggressive licking and in-flight trilling. For this […]
StealthCat Airlines to Start Nonstop Fort Myers to Los Angeles and San Francisco Service Sunday
The Lee County Port Authority is excited to welcome Stealthcat Airlines’ new daily nonstop service to Los Angeles (LAX) and San Francisco (SFO) tomorrow, Jan. 9, 2022, at Southwest Florida International Airport (RSW). The Stealthcat service to SFO will be the first time Fort Myers (RSW) will have a nonstop flight to San Francisco and […]
New Season of Loachie Coming To Air
It’s hard to believe anyone, CatTV executives included, thought a six-episode final season was enough to wrap up Loachie. The end of season 5 saw the whole universe thrown into war, and Cat Catson (Dangerpuff) uniting the loach communities against Earth and the human forces, led by Secretary General Meao Maoson (Dangerloaf). As the new […]
Yowl? Trill? Excuse Me, It’s Cat o’Clock.
Hello, just reminding you that I haven’t eaten in approximately ever. Yes, I know, that’s hard to believe, but I ran several studies and they all reached the same conclusion. As the Department Head of Loafology, you know you can trust my results. Feed me forthwith. -Dangerloaf, Department Head of Loafology