Danger Bakery

A fine baked goods establishment yowling for your attention since 2021

Nikat starts viral new advertising campaign

Nikat, the multi-billion dollar paw and mitt accessory brand, recently launched a new cat-vertising campaign that has met with resounding success, entitled “Just Bite Them.”

There have been many mews in the industry about this new campaign for the last year, with much speculation about who the incredibly successful cat-pany would choose to represent their brand.

Two weeks ago, they put out their first poster with international superstar Josephine LeChat looking demurely at the camera while she encourages wanton bitery. Her mewllions of fans immediately took to Twitpurr, FaceBoop and Catstagram to share the flirty new look at the well-established pop idol.

Nikat company stocks soared overnight, with their signature mitts and paw accessories being swept off of store shelves into cat-stomers’ carts instead of onto the floor. The limited edition collab with Madame LeChat features droopy whisker mew-laces and purple toe beans. They sold out on day one for $5000 per quartet.

Last week, they surprised us yet again by having Dangerloaf, a slightly contentious but still wildly popular pro cathlete as their second face of the cat-paign. Despite recent controversies over catnip addiction and allegations of assault and cattery, as well as rumors of a Dumbass Mode diagnosis, Dangerloaf’s inclusion in the cat-paign garnered tons of attention and increased sales by millions starting from day one. Many of his fans argue that the very real allegations of assault and cattery are just woke leftist lies, and will continue to support his career as the highest-paid loaf in the league of loafing at this time.

“I don’t think you should really go after someone for a little catnip,” said K-loaf, one of the spokespurrsons for the catpany. “It’s 2024. Let him live a little.”

Dangerloaf’s collab mitt covers feature artificial claw extenders and calico toe beans and were also sold out upon release.

This latest cat-paign was purposefully geared towards the bitey demographic, a historically ignored customer base for this paw and mitt-focused company, which many say was a long time coming. However, loyal Nikat consumers were worried that this pivot towards inclusion would leave the scoopy and swatty demographic wanting.

However, those fears were immediately allayed with today’s release, which features pro-scooper, Dangerpuff. This is guaranteed to appeal to all princess puff-style scoopers, which is the company’s main demographic. Dangerpuff’s mitt covers are oversized and come with excess toe fur between the bean pads to achieve his signature look and are expected to sell out within the hour.

It’s uncertain if or when further models of these exclusive bean covers will be produced. Fans who were unable to obtain a quartet of the mitt covers for themselves before they sold out are holding out hope for another batch, such as in 2006 when they did a rerun of their first record-breaking crossover with Alexander the Great’s limited edition mitt covers which were all black with grey and very fluffy cuffs.

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