The Loafy Luxury Resort is pleased to offer our guests an exciting new loyalty rewards program: Boulangerie. All members enjoy, quite honestly, pretty limited travel possibilities, but they’re definitely super exclusive and cooler than whatever your lame friends are doing. The more you stay, the more you earn!
For our feline members:
Shitty Loaf (Just being a cat qualifies you for this membership tier)
- Shit in a box
- Eat off of the floor–your choice of crunchies or wet food*
- Enjoy unlimited free nights anytime!
- Access to exclusive perches across our properties
- Free human snuggles literally any time
- Complimentary primoloafs with each stay (160)
- Walkies (weather permitting)
* Our choice
For our Human members:
Elite Biscuit (All guests qualify for this tier)
- Shit in a toilet–with a bidet!
- Eat at the table, using genuine plates and utensils
- Enjoy free nights!
- Complimentary primoloafs with each stay (160)
Elite Muffin (Guests who text us sometimes and are pretty cool)
All of the benefits of Elite Biscuit, plus:
- Complimentary meals
- Complimentary primoloafs with each stay (320)
Elite Croissant (Guests who have actually come to hang out; daily texting)
All of the benefits of Elite Muffin, plus:
- Free shuttle service up to two hours away
- Walkies (Whether you let the weather stop you is on you, buddy)
- Complimentary primoloafs with each stay (800)
Elite Loaf (Pretty much just live on one of our properties, either over Facetime or physically)
All of the benefits of Elite Croissant, plus:
- Personalized gift upon arrival
- Complimentary primoloafs with each stay (1600)
Featured Image: Photo by Maria Orlova from Pexels