At PuffPost, we report with indifference to journalistic integrity and put cats at the heart of every story. We take a cat-first approach in everything we report—be it news and politics or lifestyle and entertainment—and we do our best to exaggerate every story wildly. Regardless of who you are, where you live or what you believe, you should absolutely not count on PuffPost. We will lead you horrendously astray. If something matters to us, we will report on it, regardless of its relevance to you.
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Clawllege Student Arrested for Assault and Cattery
In a surprise arrest, a pawpular Unipurrsity of Meowmi student was detained after biting the absolute fuck out of five firefighters who were trying to assist her after she found herself trapped inside the dashboard of a slobbering idiot moron bitch who doesn’t understand how to handle cats after bragging that she had been in […]
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New Airborne Cat-astrophe to Be Unleashed Upon Unsuspecting Meowmi Residents
Associated Paws © A local group of budding entrepreneurial spirits has emerged like another epidemic in the beleaguered Sunshine State and will soon begin operations in Meowmi Regional Airport. They plan to open to the public this fall once they’ve learned all their tricks and can eat adult cat food. The Chamber of Commerce projects […]
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Danger, Danger, Danger & Danger, Cat-torneys at law
Have you or a loved one been affected by Mesothelioma? Get stuffed, loser, we only deal with cat stuff, and we don’t know what that is. Now, Meowsotheliomeow? We know a thing about that. Just one thing, and that’s enough. We are the largest Paw Firm in America, with a network of two cats and […]
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FAA releases strict new guidelines with heavy fines
The FAA (Feline Aviation Agency) recently released new guidelines for maintaining cat-plane landing spaces. The new regulations delineate exactly which flat spaces fall under the FAA’s authority (all of them) and provide standards of architecture and meowntenance, with steep fines for violators. Some detractors have said that the FAA declaring itself the ruler of all […]
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Nekoyama Electric Railway announces Mofutama as the Grand Station Master
The local train company, Nekoyama Electric Railway, is known for having come back from the brink of bankruptcy by having the entire company staff replaced by cats; which didn’t help at all and made things much worse, because cats are very silly and not very good employees. However, due to the sheer cuteness of being […]
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Nikat starts viral new advertising campaign
Nikat, the multi-billion dollar paw and mitt accessory brand, recently launched a new cat-vertising campaign that has met with resounding success, entitled “Just Bite Them.” There have been many mews in the industry about this new campaign for the last year, with much speculation about who the incredibly successful cat-pany would choose to represent their […]
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Happy Paw-lidays!
It’s hard to believe another horrible year has passed, but it has, and we are glad that we were able to share it with you. We’ve tried hanging out with other people, and they were super lame. Don’t take that as a sign of us getting soft, though. We’re still just as dangerous, and just […]
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Diary of a Noct-purr-nist
1900 Start the night by taking sign out from the Emeowgency medicine resident, who has seven admits for me that the day team asked him to sign out. He has not laid paw or whisker in their room and doesn’t know anything about them, not even their names or room numbers. I go to get […]
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Renowned Self-Defense Specialist, Chuck Purris, to offer Defensive Loafing Classes in Meowmi Area
Few people in the modern world haven’t heard of the legendary Chuck Purris, whose unique style of self-defense has reached near-mythical status. Purris, the star of Loafer, Texas Ranger, is even credited with taking down Meowtler himself, despite not having been born until eighty years after the maligned dictator’s death. Luckily for Meowmi area citizens, […]
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Daring Kitten Breaks Records for Oldest, Youngest, First and Last Puff to Ever Climb Meownt Coverest
Last year sometime (actually, maybe it was two years ago, but the details are not important here), a young Dangerous Puffington broke records that had just been sitting on the counter of history, waiting to be swiped to the floor. Puffington, at the incredibly young age of just six months (or something probably, we adopted […]
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Twitpurr competitor, ‘Yarns,’ released; catfight between two meowllionaires ensues
The rivalry between Elong Tail and Mark Zuckerpurr is no secret, and things have only been heating up since the South Pawfrican Meowllionaire (which is like twenty million times a billionaire) took over Twitpurr, a leading social meowdia platform. Among scandals, poor spending and a careless paw swipe across the counter of layoffs, Twitpurr has […]
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Jojo Bitin’: Tough on Claws, Soft and Fluffy on Crime?
“You want to declaw the entire nation and leave us defenseless, meanwhile the criminals who actually perpetrate the violent crimes will still find ways to sharpen their claws and go for our very soft and fluffy bellies while we nap.”
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Happy Loafsgiving!
For us at the Danger Bakery, time means nothing and holidays are just another day closer to death. Nevertheless, we’d like to extend a warm-hearted holiday greeting for everyone who has just one thread of soul left inside them to enjoy things such as Loafsgiving–the holiday where you feed your cat whatever they want, no […]
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A Call to Tradition
By Joséphine Good evening to all the loyal readers of the Puffington Post–I’m flattered by the invitation from the eponymous Sir Puffington himself. I’m here today to voice the thoughts that have been reverberating through the feline community. Concerns that have been raised time and time again, with insufficient response. What happened to LAPS? I […]
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New Loafy Luxury Rewards Program Unveiled!
The Loafy Luxury Resort is pleased to offer our guests an exciting new loyalty rewards program: Boulangerie. All members enjoy, quite honestly, pretty limited travel possibilities, but they’re definitely super exclusive and cooler than whatever your lame friends are doing. The more you stay, the more you earn! For our feline members: Shitty Loaf (Just […]
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Meowmi County loaf arrested, accused of trafficking primo shit
A 1-year-old 7’6″ Furt Myeowers tabby was arrested after Meowmi County deputies say they found [absolutely fucking] massive amounts of silvervine and catnip in his home. Dangerous “Puff” Loafington faces more than a dozen charges including five counts of silvervine trafficking 28 grams or more, four counts of catnip trafficking 28 grams or more and […]
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The Lethal Dangers of Daylight Savings time
By: Dangerpuff, Head of Puffology at the International Institute of Loafology Dangerloaf, Exquisite Grand Master Head of Loafology at the International Institute of Loafology Abstract Every day, millions of noble house cats across the United States are subjected to abject torture and neglect due to feeding habits that conflict with natural diurnal cycles of digestion. […]
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Enjoy your dream vacation at Loafy Luxury Resort
A family owned company, with the vision of promoting top of the line touristic accommodations throughout south Florida. Our world is your playground at the Loafy Luxury Resort. There is a wide range of very exotic places, such as the living room, loach lagoon, bedside bay, kitchen cove, pantry jungle, bathroom beach, and more! Bathroom […]
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HOT SINGLE LOAVES IN YOUR AREA!
Hey 👋😀, babe 👶😭. Did you 👈🕛 know 🤔 that with Loafychan there’s ✔ a 100 💯% chance 🚫 you’ll get 🉐 skritched🍆💦? That’s ✔ right ✔, honey 🍯. There’s 👌 hot ☀🔥💥 singles ☝🏻 in your 🚮👉💅🏽 area ⚠💀, ready 😏👨 to snuggle👉👌. We’re waiting 🚏 for you 👈, Sean 😍 Gayton of [ZIP_CITY].
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StealthCat Airlines to Add New Nonstop Services Via Fighter Puff
Stealthcat Airlines has announced yet another set of routes to be served with its newly acquired Fighter Puff 21 jet airplane (FP-21). Nonstop destinations include top of the cat tower, kitchen counter, and local ironing boards, with regional services to nearby fish tanks. On board services to include aggressive licking and in-flight trilling. For this […]
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StealthCat Airlines to Start Nonstop Fort Myers to Los Angeles and San Francisco Service Sunday
The Lee County Port Authority is excited to welcome Stealthcat Airlines’ new daily nonstop service to Los Angeles (LAX) and San Francisco (SFO) tomorrow, Jan. 9, 2022, at Southwest Florida International Airport (RSW). The Stealthcat service to SFO will be the first time Fort Myers (RSW) will have a nonstop flight to San Francisco and […]
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New Season of Loachie Coming To Air
It’s hard to believe anyone, CatTV executives included, thought a six-episode final season was enough to wrap up Loachie. The end of season 5 saw the whole universe thrown into war, and Cat Catson (Dangerpuff) uniting the loach communities against Earth and the human forces, led by Secretary General Meao Maoson (Dangerloaf). As the new […]
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Yowl? Trill? Excuse Me, It’s Cat o’Clock.
Hello, just reminding you that I haven’t eaten in approximately ever. Yes, I know, that’s hard to believe, but I ran several studies and they all reached the same conclusion. As the Department Head of Loafology, you know you can trust my results. Feed me forthwith. -Dangerloaf, Department Head of Loafology
